DVNT Confessions

July 27, 2010

Anti-social Digital Socialite

Filed under: journal,social — Tags: — ecko @ 11:48 am

This post has been some time in the making. I have had to gather my thoughts as to make myself clear. where this post comes from is from time looking at my social circles in life digitally and analog.

You may be asking your self “what does Ecko mean by this title?”

I tend to find that in my daily life when out in the real world I have a hard time talking to people. And this is more so with women than men. I do not always find it easy to start a conversation, or even hold much small talk. This leads to lack of what can sometimes be some really great conversation. And maybe even a lack of real life friends.

Here is the kicker thou on-line I can see the conversation and know I am allowed to join in. my opinion is my own and sometimes it matters. I have had opinions backfire on me and start flame wars. I have also had opinions taken well from people. And the best part of all I can always just sit and watch till I think I can add value to the conversation.

now here is what I’m wanting to do with this information. I am wanting to constantly push myself to grow and be a better person. I want to be a little more outgoing, I also want to question more things to learn about who or what I am talking about.

So have you ever just taken a look back on your life and said this is what I could stand to change?or if you want to just know more ask?

July 24, 2010

Real Emotion

Filed under: journal — Tags: , , — ecko @ 10:29 pm

most days I feel apathetic, other days I feel like a crying mess. But in the end of all this I know I feel some sort of emotion, I feel something, I think people hide from their emotions by putting up emotional walls. And it is when we are all alone in solitude that we can break down and feel how bad we truly hurt.

I have hidden my emotions and feelings  from people for a long time. I am guarded from people and relationships in the physical world. Yet this is odd in a sense of the fact I enjoy the physical touch of another person. I will explore this more in coming posts.

I digress and go back to the main point of this, and let you understand where this is coming from. This last week I have been in some pain from a boil coming up on my leg. Tuesday I decided to soak in the tub and draw it out. Side note the week before I was in a boat accident, this is for the next part. While I was soaking in the tub I started to wonder in my mind was this a boil or a blood clot. not having my computer near but a phone handy I made a call to someone with first hand experience. It did not help. I then called my mom she put it as did you look in to the symptoms bit. about that time I had made the decision to shower off and get on-line to see.

In my last few minutes before rising I had a conversation with another part of me from a different time. a time when I was more combative, egotistical, and just plain mean. this voice taunted me in my tears about a fear of death. it was so dark and cold in this area. Asking if “I still fear death”.  In this raw emotional state that I realize it is not death I fear, as that’s what a man owes for his life and Sin.  My wonder of a revelation, it is that knowing you are mortally wounded. wounded and knowing death may be near, but could still be some time.

What scared me was knowing that given some time left here. The thought of not loving again, or feeling the touch of another person. Made me question who and what I had become on the inside.

From this experience I have learned a new appreciation for Life and Love. These too will be further explored in a future posts.

So my question is this, In that deep dark place you don’t oft tread what is your greatest fear, and what did you learn from it?

June 8, 2010

I Pledge Allegiance

Filed under: journal — Tags: , , — ecko @ 1:04 pm

I have been musing over the pledge for a few weeks now. The more I think about it the more the impact of its words hit me. and I feel that not everyone has felt this way.

For many years children and adults have said the pledge of allegiance. Most of us can recite this with little or no thought and do not always pay attention to what we are saying, as we have said it so many times in our life. I say lets look at this today.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

The words of this Pledge hold power when read. They hold conviction, or should when recited. you are pledging loyalty and fidelity to your country, government, and fellow citizens.

You are saying that you are fully for this county. you are for the government, and the people. You are proclaiming that this country will not split and we will have freedom and justice for all.

I think that once you get to actually know the pledge, and understand what it is asking of you. you will find a better love for your country.

hey I don’t believe in God, you may say. well it has really only been in recent years that “under God” has been in the pledge and it is optional under freedom of speech to have it in there. as for me I will keep it in my recital.

what are your thoughts on this?

May 27, 2010

Your never perfect with social media

Filed under: Digital Media,journal,social — Tags: , , , , , — ecko @ 3:32 pm

Wow that is a harsh title, but it is true. I came to this title whiles putting next and previous annotations on some of my videos.I stopped doing this about 1/2 way through. I stopped because I realized that in social media you have to keep up with things and constantly evolve.

constant evolution and progression you should not always worry about some of your old media. while for other things you should make sure all things are updated and continue to move forward. I know that with my vlog I want as much connectedness as possible yet I doubt that many people as they come to my vlog will go back to the very first days i was vlogging.

as of this writing the former 22 or so days has been connected back and forth up to current. I did this so i could start keeping my annotations up to date and that it would be easier to go back and forth. I also did this to get a little more familiar with adding annotations and work flow.

Pesky Rabbits

Now back on point, you will not always do things right in social media the first round. it is learning how to move on from failure or up from the bottom. it is about trial and error, and error correction through mitigation. it is about knowing what to connect where to connect it and how to build and nurture the relationships that follow.

Social Media is a place for humans to do business with other humans. we are in an age where business has to be transparent to be trusted and for a human to be on the other end of the connection. in this era we are making new paths and new ways. we should also fully expect that those behind us will change the way they do business in there own time.

What is your thoughts?

May 21, 2010

A week of Passion

Filed under: journal,social — Tags: , , , — ecko @ 2:48 pm

This is not some reference to the passion week of Christ before his Crucifixion. No this is something you may hear through out the interwebs. That you have to find a passion and run after it.
This week has been an interesting one, Monday through Friday. Everyday I have found someone or something that reminded me about passion. And it has shaped my week and given me a new prospective on this subject.

Monday

It was raining and lo in behold some Mormons came rapping at my door. This just showed me how much passion that they put in there faith. And duty to the church and the call of Christ to “go forth and make disciples in all nations.”

Could you say you have that kind of passion to go out in the rain and do what you love?

Tuesday & Wednesday

I stayed home and was watching other peoples Vlogs. I saw there passion for just having a great time, or time with their family. All this started to influence my thoughts this week.

Are you willing to share your passion with your family?

Thursday

I did what I now refer to as my normal Thursday rut. But it is not a rut  I go and volunteer and I enjoy helping others in need. It is one of my passions to help others be in a better place in life.

Does your passion help others? can you help others with your passion?

Friday

I started out the day strong and got my vlog up. and it is after posting my own that I watch others I subscribe to. In watching this morning I saw that t-rave.com‘s vlog was on passion (he also shouted me on this subject).

Can others see what you are passionate about through you?

the questions have been asked, what is your response?

Just so you know, my passions include God, computers, Linux, volunteering, family, and friends.

May 19, 2010

Hope, hope is a beautiful thing when allowed to live in moderation.

Filed under: journal,social — ecko @ 4:24 pm

There are days in my life where I feel like a King with no crown, & no subjects. Sitting by my self in the throne all alone in this huge world, Ego-ed in what I can do. Most days I am humbled by what there is I still need to do, and learn to make my life better.

Constantly trying to move forward in this journey, and not slack-off , striving to make this (what ever this is) work. trying not to reinvent myself but better who I am, and help other people while doing it. This is what I am wanting to be about.

The question I always ask myself is “What do I want to do the rest of my existence?” Here as of late I have made actions to get back to my writing, and my art. hoping that one will bring some epiphany of what I want to do the rest of my life. Thinking that maybe then I will find my passion, and my purpose.From this I will push forward to know more and do better.

Most of all I write to find my soul in this outer shell. I paint, color, and sketch to understand my world better. Doing both of these things to communicate the constant living in some form of pain or another. maybe that is just the first clue to where i am going.

April 24, 2010

Goals for my 27th year

Filed under: journal,tech — ecko @ 10:04 am

Everyone makes a goal or resolution for there birthday, but it was not till after mine that I really decided it was time to set a few in my own life. I state these here so that I feel I have a little more accountability. a few of my Goals I have already started on the road to getting them done.

  • read the entire bible in 1 year
  • Pay-off my Line of credit
  • vlog 365 days in-a-row
  • Learning PHP
  • writing my first twitter app
  • turning an old laptop into a digi-frame
  • lose 40 lb.s
  • cessation of smoking

They are not many and some rely on other things to be complete first but I think this will be a great year and I have a lot of high hopes. This space on the web is where I will keep track of my progress on some of these, others may be documented else where.

peace

ecko

April 21, 2010

No Regrets No Worries

Filed under: journal — Tags: — ecko @ 1:30 pm

I originally wrote this about 2 years ago and posted it i have sense taken it down, but to day I am re-posting it. even at a different time in my life then when I wrote this, I still feel it applies. I still have no regrets in what I have or will do in this life, and there is no need to worry. more after the poem…

I saw your face for the first time in over a month today. I feared for you that only lasted about 2 minutes. No Regrets No Worries

I am happy now, happier than I ever was. No longer on the anti-depressants and I have Friends and Family that you could never comprehend. I live with No Regrets No Worries

The Passion, Fire, love, and lust, all belong to me. You will never know what drives my inner soul. No Regrets No Worries

You have once taken my soul and I gave it willingly. now that soul has returned unto me, and it is mine to give to whom I choose, and for this live better No Regrets No Worries

I originally wrote this after I saw my now ex-wife we were separated at the time and she was in a transitional period. I find this poem fitting as it is the eve of our 1 year anniversary of divorce.  the reference to my soul can better be interpreted my heart. I was in a very different part of my soul journey trying to figure things out. but as you may now know I have re-dedicated my life to Christ and his will. Ergo I really enjoy doing the work he has set out for me to do.

I choose to say that I have no regrets because every decision we make we shape our future and learn different things. think of a choose your own adventure book here, choose what to do and go. You can not always go back and choose a different path you have to continue on the path you have chosen.  But a path can wind back and forth and some paths cross and others run together for a time. but in the end it is the decisions you make that you can regret, but don’t they help mold who you are.

No worries, this is actually biblical here. Jesus states in Matthew 6:25-34 that worrying is fruitless and does nothing for your life.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So what do you think, do I have this all wrong?

ecko

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